25 Days of Reflection Before Turning 25

Day 14 - Self Care.

I calculated my work hours for April 13 - April 21st and I'll be racking in 81hrs. From working as an ESL teacher, to managing my sister's massage business while she's out of town, to the outreach coordinating for Pacific Tongues, my stress levels feel a little off the wire. Not because these jobs give me stress but because of the constant 'go' of it all. I love my jobs, I love the folks I get to work with. I love the experiences they give me. What stresses me out is not being able to take a moment to smell the roses, to breathe, to release.

Today, I had a 2 hour break inbetween jobs, and I decided to get a massage by Rhonda at Red Earth. She is amazing. I literally just got out of it and my body feels like its a jellyfish. I'm on cloud9. I could feel her release all the tension building up inside of me. Her hands applying the perfect pressure to unlease it. Shit, i was drooling onto the floor as my body laid faced down. That's how relaxed I was. It was the first time in a long time where I could just focus on my breathing, on letting muscles sink, on not having to think about grades, or emails, or meetings, or memorizing poetry. It was the first time in a long time, I allowed someone to take care of me, to let me body heal physically. I think it's a practice I am learning. Rhonda told me after the massage was over that she said a spiritual blessing for me to be able to release my stress in more productive ways. She said she could feel it all built up in my shoulders and neck. I understand why. It's because of my work. I speak. My vocal chords are in my upper body. It feels good to have someone pin point where it builds in your body. See healing mentally, I've got balanced through therapy. Healing creatively, I've got balanced through my poetry community. But healing physically has always been something I put on the back burner. Today, I understand why it is so necessary. Our bodies are our vessels. They hold everything we feel in. We must try to practice these acts of self care more often. To take care of our bodies physically, mentally, creatively, spiritually. If we do not take care of ourselves, how can we expect to take care of anybody else?