25 Days of Reflection Before turning 25

Day 23 - Recollecting myself

in the past few days I've been in a cluster. Been feeling too much like confetti. too much like scattered thought. Too much like body contortionist pulled in five direction. Too much like sand. Too much like sand in hour glass. Too much like rising tide. 6 days left of teaching. Picking up more hours as manager. Surrendering to possibilities. Rising to the responsibility of coordinator. So much family home. Beginning to feel the depression slowly crawling its way up my toes. The new moon running through me. Too much dark. Mercury in retrograde. I need space. Need to get away. Feel like becoming running deer. Feel like chasing myself into the shadows. Messaged my therapist today. Need to acknowledge my own process. Must call myself out. Must actively work on self care. Search for the light. Who am I today? I looked in the mirror this morning and felt like shambles. Where is my mind taking me? Why does my heart feel like ravine? Feel like crack in the earth. Feels like I'm split three ways with no where to call home. Who am I today? I don't know. I didn't recognize myself. Too tired to notice me. Too tired to be strong today. I'm in the process. I'm still processing.

Jocelyn NgComment