25 days of reflection before turning 25

Day 10 - March 10th: Depression


Midway through my year of being 22 years old, my life began to crumble from beneath my feet and I couldn't grasp onto what was happening. I was in a beautiful relationship, I had started my job as an ELL teacher, and Pacific Tongues was very vocal in wanting me to take a bigger role in organizing for the org. 

However, it was then when I felt like my life wasn't where I wanted it to be, it was then when I had a mental breakdown at least twice a week and I became my own worst enemy. I stepped away from Pacific Tongues, I put my ex partner in some tough situations, and I wasn't taking car of myself physically, creativitly or spiritually. 

A few months passed and I hada conversation with my best friend Harrison and he had put the idea into my head to see a therapist. So I googled some places in my area, checked my insurance, and went to my first session with Dr. McDowell, a man of color who to this day I will look back upon as the man who helped me get control of my life.

through therapy I dismantled my depression, my became active in processing it in healthy ways, and took the steps day by day to understand my own triggers. Well why am I reflecting upon this you may ask?

Recently, I've held space for youth that have been writing about their own depression. I don't think I could have facilitated those discussions and those poems without having gone through my own process. As a poet facilitator I think many of us can't properly help anyone with their struggles if we have not be actively helping ourselves with our own. That goes not only for facilitators but anyone really.  

Jocelyn NgComment